The Modesty Struggle - Nellah Grace

This year I promised to repost all the great things I see and read so here goes, a wonderful, truthful post on modesty by one of our featured bloggers NellahGrace

Sis, lets go there.

My struggle with modesty

Modesty, it seems like it’s the word which shall not be said amongst christian women, right after Submission lol. Anyway, today I’m going to address this before I post any fashion posts because it is the reason for this section on my blog.

Modesty is something I’ve struggled with for a long time and I will tell you how and why. Our generation lives in a world where acceptance and validation is all people care about wether its subtle or not. In the world of social media, it’s all about validation, through likes, retweets, comments, DMs whatever form. For me social media enlarged an issue that was always already there, the need for attention.

As a woman, in the world your value or beauty is measured according to your appearance.

How pretty or attractive you are, how banging your body is, how much attention you get from males (and females alike) is equated to value. Most (,really ALL) of the time as females when we dress provocatively, its for attention. We want someone to look and think "she looks amazing, she has a nice body, yasss girl come through, she’s sexy" etc.

Whether we do it intentionally or not, that is the motive. Well I know for me it was and for the most part I didn’t realise or even acknowledge it. I always used the excuse “Í dress for myself, to make myself feel good, it makes me happy” and really I believed this, I believed my own lie because when challenged that was my reasoning. But it’s a lie, when I did some self reflection I realised it was a lie. I wanted to show more skin because that’s what is accepted as attractive in the world and who doesn’t want to be attractive right?

But that’s where the problem is. I love God and yet I was trying to live for the world and get my validation from that and that’s a recipe for disaster. I’ve always known who I am in Christ, I’ve always known my value but even though I knew what truth was according to the word, I didn’t guard my mind so I was letting the world tell me what truth was and I got lost in the sauce as I would put it.

Modesty according to God

So I seeked the Lord and asked him to truly teach me his heart for me when it comes to modesty. What shall I do Lord? How should I go about this?

This is what the Lord told me. Modesty is not about what you wear or don’t wear, modesty is a matter of the heart and everything else is an after effect. “Where is your heart Petty? Is it with me or with the world? If it is with me then your goal in life is to glorify me, to do what pleases me and to love me”. This verse is true for every person who gives their lives to God. You are crucified with Christ, meaning all your fleshly desires are to be crucified. You are to die daily and take up your cross and follow Jesus. It’s not about me, it’s about God.

 “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me”

Galatians 2:20

  • Modesty is about a heart of humility not trying to elevate myself, bring attention to myself and have people say how great or beautiful I am. But I should have a mind like Jesus who did not elevate himself but was clothed in humility.

  • Modesty is about having a heart of worship sometimes we use the excuse of “It’s my body, I want to show it off or I can wear what I want”. That’s just not true, I am not my own, the bible says my body is the TEMPLE of God, God has bought me with the precious blood of his son. No my body is not my own, my body belongs to God for him to do what he wishes. The Holy Spirit literally lives inside me, so how can I defile a property that is not my own when the owner has explicitly told me how he want’s it to be taken care of.  I don’t want to offend the Holy Spirit in me because he will leave. I wan’t to protect that hence i give my body to God for his glory.

“What? know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.”

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 

  • Lastly for me modesty is about Love. Listen, when I am dressed provocatively and in the essence of the word ‘sexy’ who am I trying to entice sex out of if it’s not my husband? what spirit am I trying to provoke?. Imagine a man looks at me wearing next to nothing, can’t take his eyes of me, finds me attractive and lusts after me. I have just caused God’s son to sin. In other words I have just allowed myself to be Satan’s agent. That to me is really sad. I love my brothers in Christ too much to lead them down to sin, It is my business that where I can help it, I don’t cause anyone to stumble. Love covers a multitude of sins, and this is one of them which can be covered by being covered. If my brother has a lust issue, let me not make it worse, let him figure it out with the Lord but if I can help too then I will.

I could go on forever but by now I hope you get what I’m saying. This is why I want to post fashion posts because I have searched near and far for modest fashion inspiration and they are few and far between. So I want to help as I grow, we grow. I want to share tips, show outfits and that modesty doesn’t have to be restrictive or boring etc. God is still a God of beauty, it’s just according to his standard and for his glory.

It’s truly only through his grace, its the grace effect.

Enjoyed this post? Have you been struggling with what it means to be modest? How do you feel about modesty in general? We'd love to hear from you, share your thoughts below!

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