Comparison Kills #lifelessons

Updated: Aug 20, 2019

If you didn’t catch it, I’ve recently turned 25, #ToGodBeTheGlory and I‘m absolutely loving it! As rocky, unpredictable and frightening as the past year may have been, I can safely say that it has been my best year yet. Over the next couple of months I’m going to be sharing the life lessons I’ve learnt because as they say, sharing is caring!

Lesson 1: You are not them, you are you

I remember rolling up to a fashion show last year, only to find another designer who also had African print clothing in some amazing fabrics. I felt small and insignificant. I wanted the ground to swallow me up there and then! I watched as the models were excited to try on the designer garments and marvelled at every outfit combination.

I felt disappointed in myself, in my designs. “Why couldn’t I have been the one To design clothes like that?“, “Laura, you need to up your game”, "After seeing her clothes no-one will care about yours." Thoughts of doubt penetrated my mind and plagued my insides. There was nowhere to run, nowhere to hide. As proud as I felt as my garments paraded the runway, I couldn't shake the lies i'd built up in my mind and left feeling empty.

Fast forward to the next feedback meeting with my mentor following the show, I opened up to her on the phone. She heard my pain and proceeded to asked me three simple questions.

  • Were her clothes actually better than yours?

  • What made them better than yours?

  • If you had the chance to would you really have designed those clothes?

I struggled to give a straight answer. Better is subjective. I had nothing to base my insecurities on and if I was completely honest with myself, the clothes the designer made were beautiful but they weren’t in keeping with the values I have chosen for my brand, Asikara.

Levitate by Serena Jarha

But let each one examine his own work, and then he will have rejoicing in himself alone, and not in another. For each one shall bear his own load.

Galatians 6:4-5

Just because someone is good at what they do, that doesn’t mean you aren’t. There will always be competition, it’s a part of life, instead of allowing competition to paralyse you, you can use it to empower you.

“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.” - Bob Goff

I refuse to allow myself to be consumed by comparing myself to others. I choose to live in the purpose God has for me and to only strive to better myself. Comparison is the thief of joy, I’ve decided not to let anyone rob me of mine!

How has comparison affected you in the past year? What tips can you share about slaying in your own lane and using the success of other’s to spur you on instead of tear you down? Let me know in the comments below!